Missing home 200 days a year – What did Armin van Buuren’s wife sacrifice for him?

In the glamorous world of electronic dance music, fans see the bright lights, the euphoric crowds, and the massive festival stages. But behind the curtain, the life of a world-touring DJ is one of constant travel, pressure, and deep personal sacrifice—not just for the artist, but for the families who support them. Few relationships in this high-octane world have withstood the test of time like that of Armin van Buuren and his wife, Erika van Thiel.

While Armin has been the face of trance music for over two decades, Erika has been his anchor, quietly making sacrifices most fans never see. When your husband is gone for nearly 200 days a year, it’s not just a test of love—it’s a test of endurance, independence, and deep emotional resilience.

The Rise of a Trance Legend

To understand what Erika van Buuren gave up, we must first understand what Armin was chasing.

Armin van Buuren began his journey in the mid-1990s, producing trance music from his student dorm in Leiden, Netherlands. By the early 2000s, his tracks were global club staples. Then came the launch of his iconic radio show, A State of Trance (ASOT), and his career took off like a rocket.

For over 20 years, Armin has performed at virtually every major EDM festival—Tomorrowland, Ultra, EDC, Creamfields, and countless others. His sets have taken him across continents weekly, making him one of the most-traveled DJs in the world.

But that success came at a cost. Behind every tour was a home he had to leave. And waiting at that home was Erika.

Erika van Buuren: The Woman Behind the Curtain

Erika van Thiel and Armin van Buuren met in their teens and began dating long before the fame. They married in 2009 and have two children. Throughout his rise, Erika stood by his side—but her role was never simply to cheer from the sidelines.

In multiple interviews, Armin has openly credited Erika as the true strength behind his success. She chose to build a stable home while her husband followed a dream that kept him physically distant most of the year. That decision—to stay rooted while Armin flew around the world—required personal sacrifice of the highest order.

The Weight of Absence

Imagine raising children while your partner is only home for brief windows between tours. That’s been Erika’s reality for most of their marriage. During Armin’s busiest years, he would perform over 150 shows annually, with months passing in a blur of airports, hotel rooms, and stages.

In a world that praises the performer, the emotional burden of the one left behind is often ignored. Erika not only took on the majority of parenting responsibilities—attending school meetings, helping with homework, managing daily routines—but she also dealt with the loneliness and emotional distance that come from a partner constantly being on the road.

Armin has acknowledged how hard this was on their relationship. In a 2019 documentary, he admitted that his intense touring schedule nearly broke their marriage. It took conscious effort, deep communication, and mutual commitment to restore the balance.

Career Sacrifices

Erika is an educated woman with a professional background, but she chose to prioritize her family over pursuing a high-powered career of her own. That decision wasn’t made out of obligation but from a shared vision that Armin’s dream would be their dream—and she would carry it in her own way.

While some partners of celebrities choose the spotlight, Erika stayed private, rarely making public appearances or seeking attention. In doing so, she gave Armin the stability and focus he needed to build one of the most consistent careers in dance music history.

Her choice represents one of the most unseen forms of love—the willingness to step back so that someone else can step forward.

Emotional Strain, Personal Strength

Armin has been candid about the emotional challenges of being away from home. He has spoken of missing his kids’ birthdays, of FaceTiming from dressing rooms minutes before going on stage, and of the guilt that comes from being physically absent.

But Erika carried those burdens, too—the late nights alone, the stress of parenting solo, the fear that the distance might change them. And yet, she never asked him to stop. Instead, she supported his journey while grounding their family in love.

It takes immense personal strength to love someone who lives in motion. Erika’s commitment was not passive—it was active, daily, and deeply human.

Finding Balance in Later Years

In recent years, Armin has taken deliberate steps to rebalance his personal and professional life. He reduced his touring schedule, invested more time in the studio near home, and began publicly speaking about mental health and family priorities.

In 2020, during the COVID-19 lockdowns, Armin found himself at home for an extended period for the first time in years. It was a turning point. He said that time made him realize what he had been missing: dinner with his children, weekends with his wife, the small daily rituals of family life.

Since then, he’s taken a more selective approach to performances and placed greater emphasis on being present at home—a shift that fans have applauded, and one Erika certainly welcomed.

The Love Story That Kept Him Grounded

In the volatile world of EDM—where burnout, ego, and lifestyle excess are common—Armin van Buuren has stayed remarkably grounded. That’s no accident. Behind the scenes was a woman who gave up normalcy to keep their love alive.

Erika’s sacrifices remind us that even in the spotlight, success is never a solo act. She didn’t chase fame or fortune. She built a foundation of quiet strength and unwavering support—and in doing so, became the unspoken hero of Armin’s journey.

Final Thoughts: The True Cost of the Dream

We celebrate the artists, the shows, the anthems. But behind every world tour is a home that waits—and a person who holds that space. Erika van Buuren’s story is one of devotion, resilience, and unconditional love.

In a world of fast fame and fragile relationships, the bond between Armin and Erika is a rare thing: not perfect, but enduring—a partnership that has weathered distance, doubt, and time. And while Armin may be the one on the stage, it’s Erika who gave him the space, the strength, and the reason to return home.

Because sometimes, the greatest love story is the one that never makes headlines—but quietly carries everything behind the scenes.